Family Guy Season 3 Episodes
- 1
- The Thin White Line (1)
- 07/11/2001
- 290,745 Views
Taking his therapist's advice, Brian starts helping others by doing volunteer work. Peter wins a paid vacation at work, and the family prepares for going on a cruise. Noticing that Brian's nose has great strength, Joe offers him a job as a police dog to search for drugs. Brian becomes a successful drug-sniffing dog for the Quahog police department, but along the way he gets addicted to cocaine.
- 2
- Brian Does Hollywood (2)
- 07/18/2001
- 246,404 Views
The Griffin family learns Brian has gone to Hollywood. After trying out on Kids Say the Darndest Things, Stewie awarded an appearance, and the Griffin get a free trip to Los Angeles. Brian doesn't want the family to know what he's really doing in Hollywood, and tries to cover it up.
- 3
- Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
- 07/25/2001
- 215,340 Views
Peter's toy company gets bought out by the El Dorado Cigarettes company, and the toys are then used to market cigarettes to children. When Peter, on Lois's advice, confronts his new bosses about their evil use of toys, they promote Peter to president to shut him up. Lois, pleased with all the perks that come with Peter's new position, keeps her mouth shut too, while Brian quits smoking in protest.
- 4
- One If By Clam, Two If By Sea
- 08/01/2001
- 194,966 Views
When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
- 5
- And the Wiener is...
- 08/08/2001
- 250,758 Views
Peter feels jealous when he finds out Chris has a larger penis than he does, so he tries various tactics like buying a new car and joining a gun club. He then takes Chris on a father-son hunting trip only for Chris to eventually save the day. Meanwhile, Meg finds herself to be a target of abuse for the cool kids at school when she joins the flag girl squad.
- 6
- Death Lives
- 08/15/2001
- 171,150 Views
Peter sneaks away on his and Lois' anniversary to play golf at an upscale country club, only to be struck by lightning and have a near-death experience. Death promises to give Peter a revelation to help his marriage if Peter helps him get a date. Meanwhile, Peter sets up a fake scavenger hunt for Lois and the kids, which takes them all over Quahog.
- 7
- Lethal Weapons
- 08/22/2001
- 231,005 Views
Bonnie convinces Lois to join her Tae-Jitsu class and Quahog is invaded by New York "leafers" coming to look at the pretty colored leaves in fall. Lois quickly becomes a black-belt, and Peter uses his new dangerous wife to drive away all the annoying New Yorkers. However, Lois's new-found violent side finds its way into the Griffin household, and after trying counseling, the whole family has an all-out brawl to get it out of their system.
- 8
- The Kiss Seen Around the World
- 08/29/2001
- 133,659 Views
When Meg, due to her crush on Tom Tucker, the newscaster, applies for an internship at the local television station and gets the job, she is disappointed to find that her news partner is the most reviled nerd in school, Neil. Caught in a life-threatening news situation, Meg laments that she never had a first kiss and agrees to kiss Neil only to find that he taped the whole thing in order to broadcast it across the world.
- 9
- Mr. Saturday Knight
- 09/05/2001
- 182,675 Views
Peter's boss comes to dinner at the Griffin house but soon dies. The Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory is turned into the Happy-Go-Lucky Terminal Disease Institute. Unemployed, Peter begins his search for a job and ends up going after his lifelong dream of becoming a knight at a traveling Renaissance Fair. Caught in a compromising position with the infamous Black Knight's wench, he must defend his family's honor in an duel with the Black Knight.
- 10
- Fish Out of Water
- 09/19/2001
- 166,515 Views
Peter, Still out of a job, and now severely obese, decides to take on a new profession: Fishing. After buying a boat at a police auction, he soon finds himself in debt to a loan shark. When Peter hears of a legendary fish that, when caught, could win him the money he needs, he and the guys go searching for the mystical creature called 'Daggermouth'.
- 11
- Emission Impossible
- 11/08/2001
- 169,617 Views
Peter goes with Lois to visit her sister Carole, who is now pregnant, but alone since her husband walked out on her. Carole goes into labor and Peter helps deliver the baby. Caught up in the moment, Peter and Lois decide that they want another baby. Stewie however, does not agree.
- 12
- To Love and Die in Dixie
- 11/15/2001
- 183,386 Views
Chris chooses a robber out of a lineup, but after Peter accidentally tells the robber where the family lives, the Griffins are placed in the witness protection program. They are sent to the Deep South, where Chris makes a new friend, Sam. Peter questions the truth of a Civil War reenactment that showed the South winning the war, leading to Sam's father forbidding Sam from seeing Chris.
- 13
- Screwed The Pooch
- 11/29/2001
- 156,810 Views
Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.
- 14
- Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?
- 12/06/2001
- 178,512 Views
Chris gets a new job as the water boy for the basketball team. After being around the black players, Chris becomes a super-cool black dude in a white person's body. Peter takes Chris to learn about his own Irish heritage at a museum. Chris later visits a library to look up his genealogy and is elated to discover that a black man (Nate Griffin) was part of his family.
- 15
- Ready, Willing, and Disabled
- 12/20/2001
- 133,979 Views
Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory.
- 16
- A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
- 12/21/2001
- 196,144 Views
Lois loves the holiday season and is excited about decorating the house, opening presents and introducing Stewie to Santa Claus. Stewie, on the other hand, is completely paranoid about this fat man in a red suit who can somehow maintain 24-hour surveillance on all the world's children! Peter, sent to drop off one gift to Toys for Toddlers, accidentally gives all the family's presents to the charity.
- 17
- Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
- 01/17/2002
- 119,147 Views
When Brian is arrested for drunk driving, he's forced to do community service, which consists of helping Pearl, a middle-aged, agoraphobic, bitter woman. Brian gets so fed up with her insanity, that he storms out of her house. Later, Brian watches a television documentary that reveals Pearl's past as a top advertising jingle singer of the 1950s and 60s.
- 18
- From Method to Madness
- 01/24/2002
- 107,312 Views
When Brian expresses his interest in theatre, Lois tells him to try out for the Quahog School of Performing Arts. During the audition, Brian turns in a mediocre performance and is dismissed by the judges. Stewie, determined to get Brian a second chance, throws a melodramatic fit. The teachers, impressed with Stewie's theatrics, enroll him in the rising stars program.
- 19
- Stuck Together, Torn Apart
- 01/31/2002
- 170,474 Views
Peter's jealousy reaches new heights when he accompanies Lois to the gynecologist. As the doctor prepares to examine Lois, Peter refuses to let him near her. Later, while shopping, Lois runs into an ex-boyfriend, Ross Fishman, who innocently asks her out for coffee. Fearful of Peter over-reacting, Lois sneaks off to meet Ross.
- 20
- Road to Europe
- 02/07/2002
- 162,358 Views
Stewie is addicted to the British hot children's show "Jolly Farm Review" based on Mother Maggie, a benevolent figure who looks after kids on a farm. Brian makes fun of Stewie for watching the show, but Stewie is determined to visit Jolly Farm in England because he thinks he belongs there.
- 21
- Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
- 02/14/2002
- 200,087 Views
In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer profound questions: "Li'l Griffins" The Griffins as the little rascals. Kid versions of Peter, Joe, and Brian decide that they don't need girls. When they first meet Lois however, they quickly abandon their anti-girl sentiment. In school, Lois reads a book touting the virtues of bravery, and Peter and Quagmire try to prove who's the bravest by staying in a haunted house overnight.
- 22
- When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
- 11/09/2003
- 156,587 Views
The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue. After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a "quickie" bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois.


